"You want your potty pants!"

Roddy makes so much sense.



I must be drunk right now, because I totally get where Roddy is coming from.

I was raised on breaded meats and this.

"Yeah, I do. Yeah. Outside interference, yeah. IN MY MOMENT OF GLORY!!! Yeah, and now I'm living in a nightmare. And I am the cream, and they are... not only the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship belt must fall, but the World Heavyweight Championship belt, cause Hulk Hogan, yeah, I am... the cream, yeah, the cream of the crop, and there is no one that does it better than the Macho Man Randy Savage! On balance, off balance, doesn't matter!"




That is the kind of closing statement that movies (and cocaine hangovers) are made of. Really, what the hell was wrong with me as an 11-year-old NES addict? All I knew about life was filtered through Randy "The Macho Man" Savage and Mario World.

Damn.

I wanna hang with this kid.

The Chinese seem like my kind of crazy.

2 Live Bambi

This is a Chinese t-shirt found in Beijing. I wish I owned it.

"Drunken Negro Cookies" Wha?

A fat, racist baker unapologetically makes "drunken negro cookies". On inauguration day, he called them Obamas. Oh, OK. That makes it better now.

The Greatest Show On Earth

This will be the best show ever, and it's on MTV. Don't believe me?



Click on photo for its full glory.

Video here:

Sounds Of Blurg

This here is some random samples culled from my Casio fed through an SP-404 then onto Garageband. This sounds like Blurg to me, and it is to be taken with salvia.

Blurg! - Andrew Gomez


Download it here for free:

http://www.mediafire.com/?1oofot1ungi

How To Fix Shit

This guy is the Australian Fonzie.

Star Wars barely

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

When broken down this way, Star Wars sounds pretty limp.

Italian Barf Face Looks Like The Awesomest Muppet

I've dicked around on the Internet enough to see this cross-eyed mouthbreather about a dozen times. Besides being so ugly she pisses me off, she reminds me of somebody.



Then it hit me. She looks like Janice:



I love Janice. I hate this old, retarded poo. How can I have such differing opinions of two visually similar weirdos?



If we've learned anything here, it's that Muppets are hideous when transmogrified from felt into flesh.

Respect The Johnston

We are doing a tribute show. No Cons material. Just Daniel Johnston's finest songs played at 12:30am whilst drunk. Come on by, you sad sacks.



For some reason, some of these images aren't appearing. That some BOWLshit. Details below:

The Knockout!
San Francisco, CA
Daniel Johnston Tribute Show
Starts at 9pm.
January 23rd
That's a Friday.


UPDATE:

Everything's cool now.

This Saturday Hemlock Tavern

We go on at 9:30pm.